I took a personality test. The result was brutal.
The host recounts three embarrassing experiences that prompt him to reconsider his need for external validation, his tendency to overplan, and the labels he attaches to himself. He concludes that embarrassment can lead to growth when it helps someone see themselves more clearly, take action, or decide to become a different version of themselves.
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The host says a personality test he took with a life-direction coach gave him a narcissistic personality tendency score of 110, which he describes as above 100 on the scale.
The host says the coach explained that this trait can involve feeling special and believing ordinary rules or averages do not fully apply to a person.
The host says believing oneself to be an outlier can encourage action, but he also recounts the coach warning that this belief can lead someone to ignore risks such as the high failure rate of businesses.
The host says that a vague belief in one's own specialness can lead to seeking validation from others, and that receiving or lacking that validation can produce emotional highs and lows.
The host says his coach recommends noticing when he is seeking external validation and getting clearer about what he values in himself.
intro
The host introduces three painful experiences of embarrassment and argues that, despite his instinct to avoid it, embarrassment can create opportunities for learning and growth.
recent embarrassment
After a coach’s personality test labels him highly narcissistic, the host recognizes his belief that he is exceptional can fuel ambition but also drive him to seek validation and feel unseen.
Lesson: “You Can Make Hell Out of Heaven”
The host argues that external praise cannot reliably make someone feel special; understanding and appreciating one’s own strengths can ease the need for others’ approval.
business embarrassment
At 21, the host and his friends bring a lengthy sushi-restaurant business plan to an experienced founder, who explains that they should start by opening a location and serving customers.
Lesson: “Worship at the Church of Action”
The founders abandon excessive planning and focus on taking concrete steps, earning a mentor’s praise for their bias toward action and learning through doing.
personal embarrassment
As a shy teenager, the host hides a love note behind a fabricated story, then recalls how his sister’s advice helped him see moving schools as a chance to choose a new identity.
Lesson: “The Decision Is Upstream of All Action”
The host concludes that reinvention starts with a decision, describing how he adopted new identities and began his podcast by acting as the person he wanted to become.
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